Andrew Greeley's Sexual Intimacy PDF

Andrew Greeley's Sexual Intimacy PDF

By Andrew Greeley

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Privacy is no obstacle to appro­ priate self-revelation. Indeed, when circumstances arise in which self-revelation becomes desirable, then privacy van­ ishes : but the motivations which prescribe privacy can be twisted and are twisted by most of us to reinforce shame. A young woman-unless she has that sickness called ex• hibitionism-is quite properly reluctant to reveal her sex organs to a man with whom she has no desire to share in­ timacy. She is not ashamed of her sexuality but she does not propose to reveal herself to everyone-a perfectly healthy attitude.

Or even under the covers. It will be hard for such a young woman to adjust to the total change that marriage will work in her lire. For with marriage all the reasons for privacy (at least in the narrow sense in which it has been defined here) will be eliminated, yet her shame will persist, and even though she may realize it shouldn't-shame is a powerful emotion that will not be eliminated easily. Shame, rooted in our ex- I. 1 89 SEXUAL INTIMACY istential self-disgust, reinforced by our culture and our up­ bringing, remains a powerful barrier to both physical and psychological self-revelation.

Then, can be seen as but one manifestation of man's drive to break out of the limits his own individuation imposes on him and attempt to achieve a basic unity with the life forces of the universe. Men are impelled toward the woman in the elevator, or toward the luscious secretary, or women toward the man at the cocktail party, or the broad-shouldered male who sits next to her on the bus precisely because union with this other is a means of overcoming separation and putting the world back together again.

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